Growing Up Goes Slow

This post differs from my typical awkwardness. Sorry Ryder, your post is going to have to wait.

Yesterday, I was walking down the sidewalk, and I came across a poem that was stamped into the ground. It read:

Not Like Fire

Nothing flaming
or even
potentially
aflame.
Nothing
caught up
with danger.
Nothing racing to take
control
or possessions or
no prisoners.

No, our love
was never
like that.


Pretty deep, huh? I feel like that fire is something that a lot of people strive for. That passion, which is all consuming, consumes them. The relationships that we make through out our lives can shape the way we think and feel about pretty much anything. They can be the most important things about how we live, they can be the difference between happiness and severe depressions. Sometimes they cause that happiness, but sometimes they can cause that depression as well. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about religion. I was raised in a very religious family, and I had a decently strong faith, but this friend of mine labeled himself as an agnostic atheist, or at least, that's what I think he said. We talked a lot about what there is to live for is there isn't a God or a place to go after death. He told me that he lives for the relationships that he makes with others. Now that's passion right there. That's the flame we're all searching for. Throughout my time here at the U, I feel like I've made a lot of good friends, but I don't think that any of these relationships have that same fire, that same passion that is all consuming. I want to feel that passion for life. I want to strive to love deeper and feel more, something. I guess just to feel more in general. I think I have a hard time allowing myself to feel that.

Also, trying to accept the fact that I can't make everyone happy. That's been something I've struggled with since day 1. I have no idea where this post is going, but I wish I was back in fourth grade, playing 1, 2, 3, kick up at recess with Matt Eull.

I hope that the memories never fade, I hope that there's never a reason that they have to.

Here's the sidewalk poetry, instagrammed, of course.